The quest log is riddled with grammatical errors and is oddly organized. The interface and menus are terrible and difficult to navigate. Instead, Two Worlds II's bad is peppered throughout the rest of the game. It's a fun, interesting score that avoids some epic fantasy cliches - it often reminded me of the original Diablo's soundtrack, and that isn't a bad thing. The dialogue atrocities and fantasy 101 sound effects make the music in Two Worlds II even more surprising by virtue of its competence. Every possible dialogue atrocity is here: tone deaf delivery, overly dramatic readings, engrish, mistranslated euphemisms and colloquialisms, missing words - you name it, and Two Worlds II will at some point assault you with it. ![]() Meanwhile, somewhere between Reality Pump's offices in Poland and the western localization of Two Worlds II, someone mistakenly decided that the rest of their character development could be handled entirely by some of the worst voice acting I've heard in a game since the original Resident Evil. The game never explores that conflict or develops any characters beyond the most superficial journey from "gruff" to "gruff acceptance," or from doubtful of the hero's capabilities to grateful for his presence. You're a human rescued and counseled by Orcs, and.that's pretty much it really. There's an interesting sub-plot in Two Worlds II about an uneasy peace between Orcs and men after a long and brutal war, motivated by their mutual hatred of the dark lord Gandohar, but Reality Pump never really does anything with it. Two Worlds II involves an iron-fisted wizard-king and your gravel voiced hero's quest to take him down while saving his captive sister. The story is a bit less clumsy, but entirely more predictable. The game has clearly been designed for an Xbox 360 controller, it just hasn't been designed well. PC players aren't spared from this - the keyboard and mouse controls are horribly unresponsive. Riding a horse? You'll be pulling the right trigger over and over. The A button selects environmental objects and also jumps. Want to aim down your bow? Left trigger, but make sure your bow is drawn all the way back, otherwise you'll start running. ![]() The controls make this worse - there's a sort of disconnect between the controller and the game that makes it feel like you're giving instructions rather than acting directly, and Two Worlds II relies on too many context-sensitive actions per button. ![]() All the impressive lighting tech in Two Worlds II can't save the horror-show of watching character heads move in physically impossible ways while their mouths move like marionette dummies. My horse's legs looked like they bent to the sides, my character swung his sword like an old woman swinging a squash racket, and enemy attack patterns looked like stop-motion animation using He-man figures from the '80s. The only thing more awkward than having an orc thief's rack on one side and a prophet's dirty pillows at eye level on the other is Two Worlds II's animation. Two Worlds II's look is confused, when it isn't pandering with random instances of female characters with their breasts hanging out for no apparent reason. ![]() The poor art design is also immediately apparent - it's like Reality Pump took all of the fantasy trappings they could think of and dumped them into a wood chipper and pointed it at their character models and environments. From the title screen itself, it's clear that developer Reality Pump has strong tech running behind Two Worlds II, with great lighting, sharp textures, real reflections, and more. Two Worlds II starts off on uneven fantasy action-RPG ground.
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